Friday, July 30, 2010

Birth Story-- part 2

We arrived at the hospital, and made our way up to the Labor and Delivery hall. As the nurse buzzed us in, I remember thinking, "We'll be back-- right here!-- in a few weeks to have Abel!" A nurse brought me into a room, and hooked up another non-stress test. I was extremely uncomfortable due to the pain in my stomach, and the bands for the tests went right across the painful spot. It felt like we were in there for an eternity, and no one told us anything.

We began pressing the nurse for more details; we knew she had to know more than we did. Finally, she told us that in her experience, we wouldn't be leaving the hospital without the baby, and that he would be born in the next day or two.

What?! We had nothing with us, no toothbrushes, no baby clothes. Thankfully, my mom was on her way, and she brought us everything we would need from our house.

The nurse finally gave me some pain medication (Stadol), admitting that she had been carrying it around in her pocket, waiting for a doctor's approval. I'm not even sure she had even finished giving it to me (through the IV I already had) and I was able to relax for the first time in days. I'm pretty sure I told the nurse she was my best friend as I drifted in an out of sleep.

The doctor came in, unfortunately after I was loopy from the medicine, to give us more details. I had severe pre-ecclampsia and HELLP syndrome. To prevent my organs from shutting down the baby needed to be delivered. He would begin an induction after I got settled into a room. While most of this conversation is fuzzy in my brain, I distinctly remember him saying he could go over all the risks of my situation if we really wanted, but that we didn't really want to know. Reed and I took his word for it.

After being moved, they began another IV, a medicine called Magnesium Sulfate. Because my blood pressure was so high, they had to give me this to prevent seizures. I was on it for a few days, and it put me into the weirdest fog. I was aware enough to know that I couldn't process things very quickly, and my thinking was slowed down. I almost felt trapped, like I had no efficient way to communicate. It was very weird. My doctor gave me a cervix ripener (I wasn't due for another 4 weeks) that he said should induce labor after 8 hours or so, given in 2 doses. He also told me I would not be able to have the hoped for epidural, because I still had blood thinners in my system. Combining the two causes paralysis.

I remember that the nurse came in a few times and asked me if I could feel the contractions that she could see I was having on the non stress test monitor. Those were contractions? Sure I was in early labor, but that twinge was nothing compared to the terrible feeling in my stomach. The stadol was wearing off, and I couldn't focus on anything but the stomach pain. Later, Reed and I were told that pain was my liver, aching. One doctor told me that if I'd waited any longer to come to the hospital, even one more day, my liver would have ruptured. That explained a lot!

After a few hours, my doctor came back in to check my progress, and to check on Abel. He shook the baby, and was expecting to see his heart rate jump in response. It didn't. The doctor finished his exam, then told us I'd be having a Cesarean, that the baby wasn't handling the induction like he'd wanted him to.

Questions were floating in our minds, we knew it was a very dangerous surgery. Because of my clotting disorder, I'm not suppose to have surgery. It puts me at a very high risk for lethal blood clots during recovery. But, I had taken my blood thinners that morning, which put me at a risk for bleeding too much during the surgery. And, one symptom of HELLP syndrome is the breakdown of red blood cells, which also put me at a very high risk of bleeding too much during the surgery. On top of all this, because I had taken my blood thinners and could not have an epidural, they would have to give me general anesthesia during the C-section.

Bring it on!
to be continued...

Monday, July 26, 2010


While scrolling through the pictures of several young women on facebook, I noticed a trend. Among pictures of the new house, or the new husband, were pictures of new jewelry. Of course it's common to see engagement ring shots, but the pictures I am beginning to see are from young married couples. While I love my wedding/engagement rings very much, when you see all of the fancy things these couples are buying for (one year!) anniversary presents, jealousy is quick to rear it's ugly head. I find this small voice whispering...

I wish I had extra money to buy that-- or just a little extra money to buy anything!

I wish I could have something new.

I wish I could just pick out something I liked and buy it, without a second thought.

But thankfully, I just hear this voice for a second. I cannot afford to buy jewelry because I do not work. These couples with money to burn are from dual income families. My sweet husband works seemingly nonstop to give me the chance to stay home. Why? To raise and disciple our son, and to keep our home.

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
Matthew 6:19-21

Sure, we spent an *extra* $4,000 last year, over our very tight budget. For jewelry? No way! For medical expenses due to my high risk pregnancy, and extra monitoring for Abel's multi-cystic kidney. Oh, how I would spend that money on my son over and over for him to be healthy, and both of us to be cared for!

Praise God we do not have any money to burn! Thank you Lord, for giving me what glorifies You, and not the vain, fleeting desires of my flesh. How precious is my husband! My son! Thank you that my albums are filled with beautiful faces, and not rocks.

Lord, I pray my will be continually conformed to Yours.

"Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart."
Psalm 37:4

Friday, July 23, 2010

Our Family

I feel like Reed and I have taken the tinniest step in moving forward with, what we feel, is God's will for our family. I am eager to see how this next chapter in our lives unfolds.

This book arrived in the mail today:

Be praying with us.