Birth Story-- part 2

We arrived at the hospital, and made our way up to the Labor and Delivery hall. As the nurse buzzed us in, I remember thinking, "We'll be back-- right here!-- in a few weeks to have Abel!" A nurse brought me into a room, and hooked up another non-stress test. I was extremely uncomfortable due to the pain in my stomach, and the bands for the tests went right across the painful spot. It felt like we were in there for an eternity, and no one told us anything.

We began pressing the nurse for more details; we knew she had to know more than we did. Finally, she told us that in her experience, we wouldn't be leaving the hospital without the baby, and that he would be born in the next day or two.

What?! We had nothing with us, no toothbrushes, no baby clothes. Thankfully, my mom was on her way, and she brought us everything we would need from our house.

The nurse finally gave me some pain medication (Stadol), admitting that she had been carrying it around in her pocket, waiting for a doctor's approval. I'm not even sure she had even finished giving it to me (through the IV I already had) and I was able to relax for the first time in days. I'm pretty sure I told the nurse she was my best friend as I drifted in an out of sleep.

The doctor came in, unfortunately after I was loopy from the medicine, to give us more details. I had severe pre-ecclampsia and HELLP syndrome. To prevent my organs from shutting down the baby needed to be delivered. He would begin an induction after I got settled into a room. While most of this conversation is fuzzy in my brain, I distinctly remember him saying he could go over all the risks of my situation if we really wanted, but that we didn't really want to know. Reed and I took his word for it.

After being moved, they began another IV, a medicine called Magnesium Sulfate. Because my blood pressure was so high, they had to give me this to prevent seizures. I was on it for a few days, and it put me into the weirdest fog. I was aware enough to know that I couldn't process things very quickly, and my thinking was slowed down. I almost felt trapped, like I had no efficient way to communicate. It was very weird. My doctor gave me a cervix ripener (I wasn't due for another 4 weeks) that he said should induce labor after 8 hours or so, given in 2 doses. He also told me I would not be able to have the hoped for epidural, because I still had blood thinners in my system. Combining the two causes paralysis.

I remember that the nurse came in a few times and asked me if I could feel the contractions that she could see I was having on the non stress test monitor. Those were contractions? Sure I was in early labor, but that twinge was nothing compared to the terrible feeling in my stomach. The stadol was wearing off, and I couldn't focus on anything but the stomach pain. Later, Reed and I were told that pain was my liver, aching. One doctor told me that if I'd waited any longer to come to the hospital, even one more day, my liver would have ruptured. That explained a lot!

After a few hours, my doctor came back in to check my progress, and to check on Abel. He shook the baby, and was expecting to see his heart rate jump in response. It didn't. The doctor finished his exam, then told us I'd be having a Cesarean, that the baby wasn't handling the induction like he'd wanted him to.

Questions were floating in our minds, we knew it was a very dangerous surgery. Because of my clotting disorder, I'm not suppose to have surgery. It puts me at a very high risk for lethal blood clots during recovery. But, I had taken my blood thinners that morning, which put me at a risk for bleeding too much during the surgery. And, one symptom of HELLP syndrome is the breakdown of red blood cells, which also put me at a very high risk of bleeding too much during the surgery. On top of all this, because I had taken my blood thinners and could not have an epidural, they would have to give me general anesthesia during the C-section.

Bring it on!

to be continued...

Priorities

While scrolling through the pictures of several young women on facebook, I noticed a trend. Among pictures of the new house, or the new husband, were pictures of new jewelry. Of course it's common to see engagement ring shots, but the pictures I am beginning to see are from young married couples. While I love my wedding/engagement rings very much, when you see all of the fancy things these couples are buying for (one year!) anniversary presents, jealousy is quick to rear it's ugly head. I find this small voice whispering...

I wish I had extra money to buy that-- or just a little extra money to buy anything!

I wish I could have something new.

I wish I could just pick out something I liked and buy it, without a second thought.

But thankfully, I just hear this voice for a second. I cannot afford to buy jewelry because I do not work. These couples with money to burn are from dual income families. My sweet husband works seemingly nonstop to give me the chance to stay home. Why? To raise and disciple our son, and to keep our home.

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

Matthew 6:19-21

Sure, we spent an *extra* $4,000 last year, over our very tight budget. For jewelry? No way! For medical expenses due to my high risk pregnancy, and extra monitoring for Abel's multi-cystic kidney. Oh, how I would spend that money on my son over and over for him to be healthy, and both of us to be cared for!

Praise God we do not have any money to burn! Thank you Lord, for giving me what glorifies You, and not the vain, fleeting desires of my flesh. How precious is my husband! My son! Thank you that my albums are filled with beautiful faces, and not rocks.

Lord, I pray my will be continually conformed to Yours.

"Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart."

Psalm 37:4

Our Family

I feel like Reed and I have taken the tinniest step in moving forward with, what we feel, is God's will for our family. I am eager to see how this next chapter in our lives unfolds.

This book arrived in the mail today:

Be praying with us.

Saturday goings-on

Yard sailing this morning turned out to be a flop... so disappointed! Even if it is threatening rain, it seems that everyone cancels. But there's always next week...and, I use poor yard sailing as an excuse to go thrifting :) So after Abel's nap, we're headed back out!

This morning while Daddy worked, Abel and I hit the veggie co-op and picked up 5 lbs of cabbage and collard greens. For $35, we get 24 weeks of veggies, 5 lbs a week. We also get tons of free corn and a pumpkin! The line was long this morning and the pickings were slim, but we regularly buy cabbage at the grocery store (so getting it cheaper here was great) and I'm looking forward to cooking something new (the collards). Usually, I pick our fresh veggies for the week from the grocery store based on sales. My hope is that this summer nearly all our veggies will come from the co-op. Since I'm planning on making Abel's food when he begins eating solids (in 2 months or so) we will be using the extras for that endeavor.

We visited Reed at Starbucks after picking up the vegetables. I love how Abel looks for Reed when we're there, and how once he finds his Daddy, he just stares at him. The typical handful of people stopped me to coo at Abel, saying how precious and sweet he is. I think that in 4.5 months, I have yet to go out without someone stopping me to talk to Abel. I love it! He gets tons of smiles as we walk by people, but I am surprised at how many people actually come up to us to chat with him, and to ask me his name and age. I've been out with lots of babies, and he really gets reactions like I've never seen. It's nice to know that other people agree with how cute I think he is!

Tonight we're watching the son of a couple Reed and I worked with in college. I first watched this little guy when he was only 2 weeks old, and his mom had to go back to school. She and her hubby had class at the same time twice a week, so I took care of him in one of the academic buildings during that time slot. We still watch him occasionally, and have been invited to all three birthday parties. It's been fun seeing him grow, and I'm glad his parents feel comfortable enough with us to still call and ask us to watch him. I'm glad we're able to help out.

Looking forward to Reed getting home this afternoon! I still get so excited when I hear his car pull up :)

3 Months/ Abel's Birth Story Part One

Abel Kenneth- 3 months old

My baby is three months old today! Abel is so much fun to have around, and I wake up each day so thankful for his precious life. So thankful as well, for the Lord's guidance and protection as I brought him into this world.

We moved him to his own room a few nights ago... not a choice I was too excited about, but I guess it's for the best! Reed has been using the computer more often, and will continue to do so, for his new job. I also had really wanted to get back to blogging. Unfortunately the computer set up right next to the crib, and typing wakes Abel up! We figured it would make more sense to move the crib into the nursery rather than the computer desk :)

I wanted to take the time to finally write down Abel's birth story. At the time, I was in so much pain and on some crazy medication, so I already don't remember all the details. But I'll do my best! Here's part one:

The beginning of the week before Abel was born, I began to feel strange, most noticeably I had a strange ache in my shoulder. I thought I might have caught a bug from one of the kids I babysat for, so I took off of work for a few days. I had a scheduled non stress test (I had these 2x a week in the last few months, to check the baby's wellbeing) on Tuesday, and the baby was fine. My blood pressure was elevated, but because my shoulder had started aching a lot, the doctor thought it was high because I was in pain. By Wednesday, I was nauseous, headache-y, and had this dull ache in my abdomen. It was our 3rd wedding anniversary, though, so I cooked an awesome dinner and told myself to enjoy it! After dinner, Reed and I went to church that night to teach in the kids program. After class was officially over, I slipped out of my room into Reed's class, trying to hide my tears. I felt like I was going to collapse from exhaustion and get sick-- and I just wanted to be home. I remember changing my Facebook status to something like, "It's terrible to have the stomach flu in the third trimester" and I remember thinking, "My morning sickness just quit a few weeks ago, and now I've got this yucky bug."

I don't think I slept well that night, and the pain in my abdomen was more pronounced when I woke up. The shoulder ache was still there, too. I had another scheduled non stress test on Thursday, and I told my doctor about my pain. The baby looked good, though my blood pressure was high again, my doctor again decided it was because of the pain. He said it sounded like I had the stomach flu, but before I left, he told me to come back if anything changed. By that evening I was glued to the couch, only getting up to throw up. The pain in my stomach had become so intense, I couldn't think straight. I remember sobbing when Reed left for work because I didn't want to be left alone. I'm pretty sure I was crying when he came home hours later. We didn't sleep that night.

Friday morning brought more pain. I kept forcing myself to take a hot shower, convincing myself that the heat would somehow help my throbbing shoulder and the knives in my abdomen. Reed even bought me icy-hot to rub on my shoulder, thinking it might be muscular. By that afternoon, Reed said we had to go to the emergency room and I begged to go to my OB instead. By this point, I was thinking I might not have the stomach flu, and wasn't surprised when the doc drew blood to 'check on something.' He said he would call with the results the next day, but to go straight to labor and delivery at the hospital if I felt any worse- my doc was the doctor on call that weekend. Again, we didn't sleep that night.

The next day (Saturday) around noon, Reed was getting ready to go to work when my phone rang. It was my doctor, calling with my results. "Your liver enzymes are high, meet me at the hospital now." I told Reed he wasn't going to work as I staggered into our room to find some presentable clothes. The awesome people he works with covered his shift- and many shifts after- and I am so thankful to them. I called my mom and my dear friend Abigail as we drove to the hospital, telling them the little I knew.

As we drove through Lynchburg, I remember confessing to Reed that I hoped they would knock me out when I got to the hospital, take the baby, and fix whatever was wrong with me. It hurt so much, I just wanted it to be over.

2 Months!

Abel is two months old today (okay 2 days ago- I'm late posting this), and I can hardly believe it! Not that I'm surprised it's been two months since his birth, but when I realize where we were as a family a year ago, I'm in awe of all that has changed since then. I'm in awe of a God who would guide Reed and I through the sadness of the sudden end of my first pregnancy, and teach us trust and patience as He led us through a subsequent high risk pregnancy. Then, even more trust as we surrendered our plans to His through a dangerous delivery.

Now two months later, here we are. Healthy baby, healthy mama, thankful daddy.

My little man is getting bigger and cuter every day. He is holding his head up more often, and beginning to add a few 'happy' expressions to his repertoire of faces- through we've yet to see a true smile. Abel is getting rounder in the belly, but is still pretty small overall, making his cloth diapers fit funny (so we're currently still in disposables). He began focusing on things in front of his face a few weeks ago, and it makes this mama's heart happy to watch Abel stare at his daddy when they read together.

You might remember that we were following a problem with Abel's kidney from the time I was 16 weeks pregnant with him. We now know one of his kidneys is multi-cystic dysplastic, and is non-functioning. Praise God you can live with one! Over time, the good one will get bigger to take over function for the bad one, and the bad one should shrink away. We'll continue to see a specialist for blood work (to check the good one's function) and sonograms (to check the size of both) for a few years. We also need to be extra careful that Abel does not get a kidney infection by following up with any unexplained fevers (not related to something obvious, like the flu).

I can't wait to bring Abel to Tennessee and Maryland to meet the rest of his family and many dear friends! Until then, here are some pictures:


Abel as a newborn:


One month:


Two Months:

Finding Time

Now that Abel is here, I'm realizing pretty quickly what my priorities are- I can find time to sit and stare at my little one, but no time to write on my blog! Now that he is 8 weeks old and I've gotten into a bit of a schedule, I am slowly but surely making time for more things in my day. Things like the household chores my husband had been doing and cooking regularly were the first tasks I needed to fit back in, and the luxuries (like blogging) are trying to work their way into my day, too.

But staring at my baby? And snuggling with my boys? You can be sure I do that everyday :)

How could I resist?